Most people’s job titles are an accurate description of their role.
For example, if you manage your company’s email marketing campaigns, your title might be something like “Email Marketing Manager.” If you work in your company’s customer service department, you might be a “Customer Service Representative.”
Some job titles make a little less sense — like say, “Dream Alchemist.” (We’ll save the scrutiny over those titles for another post.)
But what if your co-workers’ job titles told it like it really is? Not in terms of what their job role is supposed to be — but what they’re actually known for? We got to thinking about this and brainstormed a list of what job titles would look like for some of the most common office personalities. We think you’ll get a kick out of them …
25 Titles That Explain What Your Colleagues REALLY Do
1)
How else would you know he had tuna for lunch?
2)
Be sure to have a few tissues handy.
3)
And not just on Cyber Monday, my friends.
4)
Your go-to guy for help with pivot tables, graphs, and other mathy things.
5)
What’s the occasion this time? Earth Day? Don’t mind if I do!
6)
Often seen hanging around the office with Awkward Conversation Intern.
7)
A title often exhibited by — but sadly, not limited to — Awkward Eye Contact Intern.
8)
Kissing butts and taking names since 5 a.m.
9)
Just think Jennifer Aniston in Horrible Bosses (but hopefully not as inappropriate).
10)
Just try to forget that you’re both doing your business while chatting about the latest episode of The Bachelor. Just try.
11)
May also be known as simply Therapist. Or Everyone’s Mentor Manager.
12)
Need it by Thursday? Tell her you need it by Monday.
13)
What is he working on again?
14)
Do you think calling this project an “utter failure” in this email is too harsh?
15)
Always quick to spread the latest dirt on Overly Friendly Manager Manager.
16)
He is so above doing that … and that. (And that.)
17)
Is there food in my teeth?
18)
May also be known as Head of Is He REALLY Working From Home?
19)
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right?
20)
Hey, Earth Day deserves an office-wide celebration, too. I’m sure Senior Always Ready for Happy Hour Associate will be there in a heartbeat.
21)
You didn’t want to hear about the gruesome details of her last visit to the dentist? Too bad.
22)
So much for all that collaboration you two did together.
23)
Usually either hangs out with — or doubles as — the Vice President of Taking All the Credit.
24)
It might be worth changing your Facebook relationship status to “It’s Complicated.”
25)
Have you ever hung out with Tyler outside of work? He’s actually really funny.
Have any of these co-workers at your office? What other office personalities would you add?
